Things A True Southerner Should Know

* The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.

* Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.

* What general direction cattywumpus is.

* That "gimme sugar" does not mean "pass the sugar".

* When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.

* The difference between Yankees and damn Yankees.

* How good a cold grape Nehi and peanut butter crackers are at a country store.

*  Ain't Nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits!

* Real gravy don't come from the store.

* How to handle their "pot likker".

* The difference between "pert' near" and "a right fur piece".

* The difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy and white trash.

* What happens when you swallow tobacco juice.

* Never to assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

* You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.

* You should never loan your tools, pick up or gun to nobody.

* Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.

* Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.