Joke of the Week

Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time...

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 2 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of apple juice on the floor to the restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell them, in an official tone, "I think we have a Code 3 in House wares" and see what happens.

5. Put M&M's on layaway.

6. Move "CAUTION WET FLOOR" signs to carpeted areas.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell others that they are invited only if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When someone asks if they can help you , begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if they know where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

13. Hide in the clothing rack, and when people browse through say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud, "Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"

To submit a joke E-mail Us